Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
