He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
So vagazzling was a success
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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