I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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