he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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