Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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