never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
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