Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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