Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
