if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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