thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
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