For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
