I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
She announced her abortion via fbk
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Randomize
