You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
