Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
