You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Randomize
