Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
