Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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