Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
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