Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
