My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
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