Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Boobs speak an international language.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
His nipple licking is glorious
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