Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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