fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Randomize
