So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
MIDGETS
????
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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