she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
wow bdsm is so cute
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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