smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
We just shotgunned beers for America
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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