Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
