Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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