She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
