Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
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