I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
