She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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