ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I think a kid would responsible me up
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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