She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
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