Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I want to fling myself into the sun
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
