I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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