dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
