So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
