Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
