Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
