u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
