Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
