R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
