OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Randomize
