tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
