okay pat passed out under dana's car
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
