he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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