My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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