who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Randomize
