I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
i need some magic done to my vagina
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
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