Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
